Who’s Gonna Take The Weight?
This is an intensely personal post that I’ve been needing to write, a sort of culmination of recent events that were triggered by my mysterious malady, but actually go back a lot farther than that. I hope my story can be of help to you, if only through giving you the courage to step up and do what’s right for yourself.
There’s a lot of sharing going on here, so if you’re “scurred,” don’t read past the cut. I hope you do, though. It’s worth it.
Ever since I got sick, I was under immense stress from the thought of how to pay off my massive bill, and then all that could come with it–“What if I get sick again? How will I get insurance? How can I rebuild my savings in time to cover any uninsured costs? What if it’s something really serious, like cancer, or something that requires surgery?” These are the kind of things you live with in a world where one malady can destroy you completely, and yet at the same time, a world that demands ever-increasing perfect performance–60-hour workweeks, no time off, no time to eat healthy, no chance to do anything but fill yourself full of cheap stimulants, junk food, and processed crap as you hurriedly move from object to object like you’re in a video game.
One day last month, I noticed something odd was happening. I couldn’t seem to calm down. My heartbeat was upwards of 100 beats per minute even at rest. I would find myself jumping and startling at the slightest provocation. I couldn’t get more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. I had energy at all the wrong times of the day. I was so emotionally wrought that I felt like crying at the slightest provocation. This was clearly new, as it continued even after I resolved my hospital bill situation, and just wouldn’t stop.
This time, I was determined not to let panic and fear rule my decision-making, so I started researching every aspect of my situation top-to-bottom. After what seemed like days of constant study and self-testing, I nailed down that I was suffering from adrenal fatigue or adrenal exhaustion as a complication of hypothyroidism. Adrenal fatigue, basically, is when your adrenal glands (located on top of your kidneys) go into overdrive, producing excessive amounts of the “fight or flight” hormone known as cortisol, in response to either chronic stress, or (in my case), a massive, traumatic event. As much as I don’t want to trivialize PTSD or those that have it, it’s not dissimilar–you have a serious event happen to you, and you can’t react or think straight because your entire body is primed to keep you active and able to handle the threat. But in our world, where stresses are constant and we often don’t have time to relax, your cortisol “trigger” can go haywire and start activating at all the wrong times, leading your body to be stressed even without any actual events that would demand it. This can often be complicated by thyroid problems–when the thyroid isn’t operating properly and not releasing the right hormones, the adrenal glands go into overdrive to compensate even more. As a result, when your adrenals finally burn out, you’re left chronically fatigued, practically immobile, and vulnerable to any range of problems from heart disease, to stroke, to diabetes, to death.
I’ve been hypothyroid for a number of years. I have a whole bunch of these symptoms, though not all of them–I have good energy levels at the best of times, for instance. I never discuss it, because so often I find people with illnesses often shrink their entire lives to dealing with it. It’s like recovering alcoholics–everything is about alcoholism or sobriety. You become your disease, essentially. That horrifies me and I can’t bear to live like that. Plus, so many thyroid/adrenal problem sufferers are women–indeed, the leading authority on this stuff is patient advocate Mary Shomon. I felt morbidly embarassed to talk about it in light of the cruel way women are treated on this issue (Remember the joke about the woman wearing the “Guess?” shirt and the guy who says “Thyroid problem?” Classy.)
Eventually, I realized that I need help. I can’t do this on my own. So I found Dr. Michael Lam, one of the world’s leading experts on adrenal fatigue, who diagnosed my problem and is currently putting me through the first stage of treatment. (I’ve eaten so many fruits and nuts I feel like a damned squirrel.) But I knew there was more to it than this. I had to get at the root of what was stressing me out–after my miserable experience in the hospital, I knew being poked and prodded by more doctors would only make things worse. I had to approach things from a more holistic perspective and find out what was ailing me spiritually as well as physically.
Thanks in no small part to the wonderful Holly Slidell, a naturopathic practictioner, I’m starting to really grok that my weight issues are a combination of my own bad decisions and a lot of pent-up guilt and torment that (literally and figuratively) weighed upon me. The more imbalanced I became from carrying all of this on my back (or around my waist, as it were), the more my body would struggle to compensate, until finally, it just couldn’t handle it anymore. Thankfully, I haven’t reached that point–as both Dr. Lam and Holly said, I’m still young and can recover fully. But many people never realize what it is that’s ailing them, because Western medicine (as my buddy Dave LaFontaine and others eloquently said) focuses on the symptoms as an individualized, segmented issue, and not part of the entire body’s need for a healthy balance.
So what does this mean for me in practical terms? Let’s see:
- Changing my diet even more. Luckily, I don’t drink much alcohol or consume much caffeine, but the Monster energy drinks have to go. I’m also buying gluten-free products to be on the safe side, and replacing the soy with better, natural sources of protein such as lean meats (non-processed). Giving up veganism makes me sad, but not only is soy dangerous in excessive amounts, it can directly inhibit your thyroid’s function. Irony of ironies–I was going crazy on the soy products when I moved out here to be healthy, not realizing that it was actually making things worse. I was so proud of myself for giving up meat, but the reality is we need meat as much as we need veggies, fruits, and so on. The problem is in factory farming and all the awful chemicals our meat goes through to get to our dinner plates, not to mention the terrible conditions livestock animals are put through. I have to do what is right for my own health, and I can’t help anyone or anything if I’m too sick to move.
- Changing how I exercise. Right now I’m taking a nice sabbatical from the gym, relaxing and getting my strength back. I was worried I’d have to give up exercise altogether, but that’s not so–it’s just how I do it. Until now, I had been overtraining at an incredible rate–almost 80 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of hard weight training, four to five times a week, like I was cast in the sequel to “300.” That’s crazy as it is, but when you compound it with eating all the wrong foods (Too much soy, not enough protein, bad carbs), it’s a recipe for disaster. My obssession with losing weight and getting fit was pushing me way beyond my limits, to the point where my body finally rebelled and said “Enough is enough.” Now I’m looking at pursuing a much more relaxed, balanced approach that incorporates Tai Chi, meditation, yoga, long walks, and a more comprehensive regimen of weight training and strength training. I can’t train the same way some guy who’s a born athlete can–I’m not him and I’ll never be him (or her). I have to train in the way that promotes my health the best.
- Changing how I look at myself. This is the biggest, hardest, and most important aspect. Let’s face it, physically, I’m not much of a catch. I’m short, overweight, balding, pale, and can’t rip a phone book apart with my bare hands. Although I have a lot of attractive physical features–nice eyes, nice hair, strong legs, strong arms, etc.–the overall package is not one that will make men envious and women desirous. In a world where someone as normal-looking as Seth Rogen, say, or Christina Ricci, is tormented with comments about their weight to the point of slimming down to nothing, a guy my size is not going to have an easy time of it. Life isn’t fair. You are given a certain set of things about yourself at birth, and it’s up to you to make the most of them. So I have to look at what makes me a guy worth knowing and put those attributes–my intellect, my wit, my self-confidence, my ambition, and so on–front and center. I refuse to be the stereotypical “fat friend” just as I realize I can’t be a Type-A alpha-male leader type. I reject all of these arbitrary classifications in favor of a new definition of being masculine, one where it’s okay to share stories like mine and not feel like less of a man. One where you can be honest about the fact that you’re lonely and have dysmorphic body image issues and not feel like a loser, a freak, or a failure. One where confidence comes from the inner self and the realization that no matter how much we make instant decisions based on looks or body chemistry, a truly strong relationship comes from the ability of two (or more
) souls to connect and integrate wholly as one person.
There’s a lot more I want to say about this, but this is a good start. Most of all, I want to leave you with this–if you’re suffering from any of the problems I discussed, get help. You’re not alone. There are thousands of people out there, just like you, who have been failed by typical medicinal approaches and don’t understand why they can’t be healthy or fit. It’s not just a matter of personal will or discipline, though that certainly is important. It’s about everything–choices, reasons, environment, and biology. Only by understanding oneself wholly and completely can you even begin to be on the path towards health and wellness.
I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.
August 6th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Kudos to you for loving yourself and listening to what’s best for you. I never in my life would consider myself an athlete and to this day struggle with my own regimen but I definitely love yoga and think that would be a much better (and safer) way to go for your goals.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Hey, Martin,
Thanks for posting. I really appreciate you taking the time to make such a personal and helpful post. I can kinda identify with what you were saying about not being alone. I had fertility issues and it took a lot of time and money to have our daughter. I remember feeling like my body had betrayed me and feeling that I was alone. That is, until I went into the office at the fertility clinic and it was packed with women all working toward the same goal.
On another note, just let me say that it is frustrating that society places such emphasis on perfect physical beauty. So many women and men are trying to live up to an unrealistic ideal and so many (especially young women) have such low self esteem because of it.
Anyhow, I am starting to digress a bit. I just wanted to say thanks for posting and I hope that things continue to get better for you.
R
August 6th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
good stuff here martin. thank you for sharing it all. it has given me a lot of food for thought.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Jennifer,
If you don’t consider yourself athletic, there is NO hope for any of us.
Seriously, your dedication to running and being fit is a great inspiration to me. But like you said, it’s all relative. We’re not the same and I couldn’t do what you do.
The more I think about it, yoga and the like are what I should’ve been doing all along, but it’s never too late to try something new.
Thanks for the kind words.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Rebecca,
It’s so depressing to see how much harsher and crueler we’ve become about physical looks in the last few years. Guys that used to be considered normal are now fat, and any woman that isn’t wasp-waisted with huge breasts and perfect skin is ugly. I blame the Internet, personally–some of the sites out there are just disgusting. Most of those fuckers on sites like TheSuperficial or PerezHilton probably couldn’t lift anything heavier than a bag of Cheetos anyway.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:10 am
Hopey,
Glad I could help, love.
August 7th, 2009 at 3:22 am
Love This! Your the man!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:12 am
If you don’t want to read all my rambling below, it can probably be summed up this way: We need to be concerned more about our food packaging, less about our body packaging.
1) I agree 100% about how much harsher we have become. When I was a teen way back in the stone age ( I mean, the 1980’s), eating disorders were on the rise. (”Bulimia is so ‘87..” from the movie “Heathers”)
I hoped so much that things would be better in the future but they are worse. I look at movies from ‘back then’ and find myself saying, ‘that actor/actress would never make it now in Hollywood.’ Then I smack myself for getting sucked into that mindset.
2) Soy and alternatives – what I don’t get about soy is that Asian populations, whose traditional diets consist of a LOT of soy – have low rates of cancer and are generally thinner than us Western folk. But, as Western Mcfoods and McLifestyles have crept into their culture, so has Western-style health issues – (http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/japan-and-obesity-109287.html)
So I am thinking the health danger might be because soy is present in just about EVERYTHING we eat,and there are GMO’s and chemicals packed into a lot of soy products. – http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_18228.cfm
I have tried hemp milk, and it’s not bad. It would be a great alternative for those allergic to nuts and or avoiding soy.
But it’s expensive and not easy to find, and it can’t be grown legally here. (Yet.) Almond, oat, and rice milk are good alternatives if you can afford them too.
I have always been alarmed about soy-based formulas. Exposure to extra hormones as an infant can’t possibly be a good thing. For moms and babies who can’t nurse, there are not a whole lot of alternatives. (Hemp based formula? Anyone want to take that entrepreneurial risk?)
3) Poison in the packaging: If you can, avoid everything in plastic or canned containers. (yep, that’s easy to do in this day and age),
BPA(bisphenol A) and phthalates are found to be endocrine disrupters and estrogen mimics These chemicals are in many plastics, linings of canned food(!!!!), even printer ink!
Sources:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2009/05/bpa_fda.html
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2009/06/bpa_study.html
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/food-packaging-leaks-bpa-phthalates/article1208351/
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2009/02/cpsc_phthalates.html
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/hiddendangers/a/0108_env_chmcls.htm
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Natural-Health/Safe-Plastics-Endocrine-Disruptors-BPA.aspx?page=2
Despite all these ‘foods that should not be’, I think there is hope with the increase of grow-your-own/DIY movements, increasing popularity in farmers’ markets, coops, and urban gardens. Also, that more people are voicing concerns to companies, gov’t representatives, and consumer advocacy groups
The crappy economy also may be a strange solution to our body- image-obsession. It’s a lot harder to give a rat’s ass about how big JLo’s ass is when you’re working 2 jobs and trying to keep your home, find health insurance, or fend off credit predators.
August 7th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
What a brave message! I never cease to admire you and of course wish you the best in your path to good health. Yes, it is too bad that society judges us so much on our appearance (I find that the older I get, the less visible I become). Your health is my main concern; I just learned about John Hughes; 59 is far too young.
I take Levoxyl for hypothyroid and I believe it helps. Aside from that I try to avoid prescription meds if at all possible.
I agree with Big Sis about the Frankenfoods we are consuming. My favorite pet peeves are high fructose corn syrup and aspartame; they are everywhere!
It is also unfortunate that so many dumb things in our society unnecessarily trigger our fight-or-flight response; the driver who cuts us off, the shopper who slams into us with a cart, the cell phone yakkers on the train. . . my heart is pounding just thinking of all who set me off.
Anything you can do to reduce that stress will help. If all else fails, try acupuncture. I was skeptical but it helped me enormously.
Love you!
August 8th, 2009 at 1:04 am
(I’ve eaten so many fruits and nuts I feel like a damned squirrel.)
Always thought you were a bit ‘nutty’ anyways… *wink*
Seriously though, I’m glad you’re doing better, and I know you’ll continue to only get better–you do have a strong will from all the time I’ve been with you…
On your good points, you also give dynamite hugs.
And Taichi is good.
Other than this, nothing to offer you but hugs, and encouragement, and love and support. *HUGHUGHUG*
August 10th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Thanks for the shout-out, Martin. I learned the connection between what I was thinking/feeling, and what my body was doing years ago, from the best doctor I’ve ever had. This guy was 71 years old, looked a bit like Einstein, and ran marathons. Back when I was really living The Life, and had to do 12 insane things before breakfast just to survive until lunch, I had the same adrenal-centered reactions. To the point that I started going blind in my right eye on stakeouts, or during car chases. Anyway, Doc J used to just bring me into his office, have me tell stories about what I was doing until I started to run out of steam, and then just talked me through what I was feeling physically, and helping me make the connection.
In the last year – well, it hasn’t reached the level of incipient stroke, but there have been times when I have sat bolt upright from a sound sleep, with my body screaming at me that I was about to die. It’s kinda weak to toss all of that onto the cliche of “oh well, stressed over the shitty economy,” but dude – we in the media business, particularly in New Media, are getting put through the goddam wringer these days.
I know I look the part of the “alpha-male” you cited above, and I’ve been a natural athlete my whole life. Which has taught me (the hard way) not to rush things. Quickest way to re-injure yourself is to try to push too hard to come back from trauma. I think that yoga or some sort of meditation does a world of good. Me? I get that when lifting heavy objects at the gym. I have to concentrate on the task at hand, or there might be a body count. Makes the White Noise of the constant media bombardment we’re under recede. At least for a while.
Distract the nattering narrative of your conscious mind with physical activity, and then let yourself hear all the stuff going on underneath that you’ve been repressing.
Good to see you back here. I was beginning to worry.
August 11th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I am glad you’re trying to improve your health and self image. I feel I must sound a note of caution. Sometimes a person who distrusts conventional medicine because of bad experiences or being charged insane amounts of money with or without insurance…after what happened to my husband I empathize, and he was insured…will go the ‘natural’ route. Then in the name of ‘natural medicine’ they will be fed all sorts of crazy nonsense and herbal crap that will either do nothing or be more harmful because they are not regulated as pharmaceuticals are so they are given in too high of a dosage.
Anything conventional or otherwise should have clinical studies to back it up. I understand that’s not a foolproof method, as things that seem fine in clinical trials or tests can sometimes present problems among the general populace (this goes for foods and plastics as well as drugs). Further, the standards set by the FDA and other agencies regulating exposure to chemicals from various sources is, I believe, deficient in some areas, as compared to European countries where things like BPA are banned. Still, evidence is always better than no evidence and I am extremely skeptical of ‘naturopaths’ or related ‘healers’ that can’t provide any. Testimonials aren’t evidence.
This may not apply to your case, especially since you are continuing to see a doctor as well as a naturopath. But some people will just jump on the ‘natural healing’ train without doing any research, and the results can be deadly.
August 12th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Mom,
Thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts. I had no idea you were hypothyroid. It explains a lot, really. Man, this is stuff we should’ve talked about long ago, but who really knew?
Again, thanks for the encouragement. I know you’ve been worried about my weight and health–well, trust me, I am too, and I think this was a wake-up call that I was pushing myself way too hard. I worry about you, too, and I’m glad that we’re both working on what’s right for ourselves. Love you!
August 12th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Sara,
You’re absolutely correct. I always make sure that any OTC supplement I take has been clinically tested by multiple researchers, and verified on respectable sites like WebMD, MedicineNet.com, etc. The FDA is a joke, frankly–they’re completely at the mercy of the industries they’re supposed to police, so I rely on the EU standards whenever needed.
As I said in another post not long ago, even though I prefer the naturopathic method, there’re just as many quacks and cranks there as there are in the allopathic (Western) field. A balanced approach is absolutely necessary for real health, and that means combining both Western and Eastern techniques.
August 12th, 2009 at 12:27 am
Dave,
I’m really glad you posted this, especially the “alpha male” thing. I have to confess, when we first met, I was a little in awe and yet intimidated–I thought, “Man, this is totally the guy I want to be like when I grow up.”
But I can’t be you, no matter how hard I work out or anything else I do–I have to be myself.
You offer some really good advice and I will heed it. It’s been frustrating to me to not be able to do what I want to do, but I gotta take it slow and build myself up a bit at a time, or else everything I’ve been through will be for nothing.
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Dear Martin;
As a thyroid patient with Graves’ disease, I am deeply moved by what you wrote and SO PROUD OF YOU. To drag oneself out of the proverbial thyloset takes enormous moxie.
Thank you for writing this beautiful and painfully honest post.
When you wrote about the financial HC aspect, I thought I would spit twice and die. The costs are seemingly insurmountable and the fear of being “sick” and knowing insurance is that much harder to obtain and that when you do, the bills still pile up, it’s an oy squared.
I wish you well. You are definitely on your way to wellness.
Congratulations,
Katie
August 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 am
Katie,
Thanks for the awesome post and kind words. And hey, you have thyroid problems, are Jewish, have lots of attitude, and live in Los Angeles–well, so do I. ZOMG, let’s be BFFs!
Seriously, I followed you on Twitter and Facebook, and I love the blog. Very spirited and inspiring–that’s exactly how to handle something like this. I’d love to meet up for coffee or dinner sometime!
I got very lucky with my hospital visit. A few thousand bucks on the credit card is nothing compared to what others have to go through, and no one should ever have to go through this, ever. Not in a country like ours.
August 25th, 2009 at 1:50 am
Martin — just about to post a link to your blog at my sites!!
August 25th, 2009 at 3:25 am
Martin, I wonder if there’s more going on than you suspect. Have you had a full work-up for Cushing’s? Many Cushing’s patients also have thyroid problems, and of course weight gain is a symptom. There is a wonderful support group on the message boards at http://www.cushings-help.com . I hope you will check it out. I am a Cushing’s survivor and feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to the people on the message boards there.
Good luck in finding your way back to good health.
Mary
August 25th, 2009 at 3:38 am
All I can say is…THANK YOU!
August 25th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Link to your post:
“Martin Bosworth: One Man’s Thyroid Journey: There are times when Martin Bosworth probably feels like he’s the only guy in the world with thyroid disease…”
http://thyroid.about.com/b/2009/08/24/martin-bosworth-shares-his-thyroid-journey.htm
August 25th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Bravo!!
August 28th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Martin
So nice to hear another Guy talking about Thyroid, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism approx 4 years ago and have been taking Levothyroxine ever since.
My condition was extreme when I was diagnosed having initially been told I had suffered a Breakdown! after my body shut down and refused to allow me to function properly…too many GP’s do not look closely enough at the symptoms.
It has taken me several years to get my life back together and I’m now in the process of creating details to share with others about thyroid conditions.
I suffered a lot also with weight issues, but I’m pleased to say that this is now something I have overcome and I’m now in almost as good shape as I was 20 years ago, through correct nutrition and sensible exercise, meditation and yoga.
I wish more men would share experiences like this.
Keep at it!
August 28th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Wow Martin what a fantastic post……….. more power to you.
I am yet another hypothyroid female who has gone thru a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what is going on. Weight was never an issue for me until my 40’s when nothing I did seemed to make any difference but then I lived in a country that failed to recognise thyroid issues, that has nationalised health care, and tells many people its your age dear learn to live with it!
A major move to the US 3 years ago has changed my life around. First the shock of finding out I was hypot and have Hashimotos autoimmune Then going thru all the ups and down of learning what it all meant, how to deal with it, how I reacted to Synthroid and learning to listen to my body. So much happened so quickly in the first 18 months. I was very lucky to find an excellent holistic family practitioner who gave me just enough information that I could learn more from reading, researching the internet and discussing with her.
Just when I thought things were improving and I started to exercise so the next gremlin stood up in the form of metabolic syndrome. The answer lay in my diet which was rubbish – again thru my Dr I learnt to eat better carbs and protein 6 times per day. It took 3 weeks to get my body to stop complaining at me but when I finally came thru that time I never felt better in my life. The food regimine now is second nature ( 16 months on). My weight has dropped by 30 lbs and this year I have become a gym rat!
And this is where your blog comes in – your comments on over training really hit a cord. I am there now and reading your blog has made me realise whooa girl you need to slow down and back off a bit. I am doing cardio and weight training twice a week, yoga twice a week, a zumba class, as well as running with a group two or three times a week, walking the beach a couple of times a week. Over training? Yup I think I might be.
Losing more weight this summer has meant that my Synthroid level I have been taking is too much and I needed to cut back but now I find I have cut back too much so I am in that yoyo affect where I need to take a bit more until I find that ’sweet spot’ again. Oh man what a roller coaster ride.
Like everything before I shall get thru this but I have to say it is so heartwarming to read your totally honest blog and to realise that there are others out there going thru exactly the same thing.
Many thanks Martin.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Hi Martin.
You don’t know me personally.I just don’t move in your circles.Many aeons ago I was a commercial artist.Now I am a greatgrandmother.I had a thyroidectomy when I was 21 years old,nearly 60 years ago!!For fourteen yrs I had no supplement and Drs say”Impossible”,but I started taking a supplement at age 36.I have fought with the medical profession for years,at first I believed all they told me,but now I know better.Have always been active.Bringing up three boys wasn’t exactly a restful pastime,and working a fulltime job at the same time.I loved to walk everywhere,telling myself I would never let myself stop.Well I stopped I suddenly found that moving or breathing was a very hard task.I have heard many times over the last years that taking synthroid can give one severe breathing problems,but tell that to anyone in the medical profession,and they roll their eyes.If anyone out there can help me on this I would appreciate.I believe I read something on this in Mary’s column.But cannot find same.I must add that cold lazer has certainly helped me tremendously,but as I am still having the supplement I still have the problem,only in a lesser way…..Hope I haven’t bored you with my ramblings.Do hope I have perhaps helped some of you in saying there is life after Hypothyroidism,so good luck in you endevours…have saved you blog and understand Mary will be putting it in her letters ,thanks Mary…Patricia
August 28th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Thank you for sharing. I identify with much of the hypo journey to which you allude, the condition’s PTSD similarities, the swings between allopathic and naturopathic approaches in the search for balance etc., the myriad of small steps and actions taken through many years to improve health, and the past mistakes (e.g. the soy) from which you’ve learned. I’m currently on a 3-month Sabbatical from my exercise program whilst I recover from a bout with anemia and a vit D deficiency that is somehow associated with the hypo. And I just recently picked up a Qi Gong DVD – intending to change my exercise approach when I eventually resume. The words that struck me most “You become your disease, essentially. That horrifies me and I can’t bear to live like that. ” It’s a timely reminder that after a decade of struggle, I have indeed become my disease, and it’s time to reinvent myself…
August 28th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Martin,
As someone who is currently trying (and failing) to obtain health insurance (thanks to a preexisting condition diagnosed when I was traveling overseas), I can definitely see how similar worries fried your adrenal function!
After being a vegan for over 9 years I had to give it up due to hormonal issues as well as rapidly developing food intolerances to the oddest things (like lettuce!?). Needless to say I wasn’t happy about that, but 4 years later I honestly feel that it was the right decision. I’m still in the process of getting my thyroid and adrenal issues addressed (I dream of a good doctor the way most girls dream of Prince Charming) but balancing my diet and eliminating soy and gluten have helped both the hormonal problems and the autoimmune disease I deal with.
For me, eating local, organic (when possible), and making sure my animal products are free range and humanely treated helps me ethically feel a peace with my dietary needs. As you said so well “I have to do what is right for my own health, and I can’t help anyone or anything if I’m too sick to move.”
I wish you continued success on your journey to wellness!
Cheers,
Tiara
August 28th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Martin, thanks for a great insight to the life complications caused by thyroid disease. When I first had symptoms of hypothyroidism in the early 90’s, I was instead diagnosed bipolar, weight gain attributed to menopause, blah blah. I lived in Kona, Hawaii, where we had a monthly visiting endocrinologist. He saw patients for three minutes and handed out Synthroid prescriptions. That didn’t work for me. As you know these conditions have their complications, which were not addressed back then. In 2001 I found a great endo, prescribed a different medication (Thyrolar) and I started to feel better. I started losing weight, feeling like my brain was functioning…not just bits and pieces of it, while the other bits and pieces were stressing and panicking over everything in life. The doc got sick and left the islands. However I saw some light through the tunnel and continued my reseach.
The Big Island of Hawaii is blanketed in thick vog, volcanic smog, in other words sulfur dioxide and a load of toxic metals that we called air. When first encountering my thyroid problem I found the highest incidence of thyroid problems was around live volcanoes.
I was stressed out in general then. I hated my stressful job as an unemployment claims taker after spending my adult life teaching scuba diving in the tropics. I found myself looking at the ocean from the railing outside my office wishing I could turn back time. I tried to juggle the job, my marriage, and caring for my aged Mom after a paralzing stroke. I drank too much wine thinking it would relieve stress. It turned me into an angry drunk or a bitch with a hangover. I quit drinking.
My husband then got the rarest kidney cancer and we lived a stressful, sad, horrifying, hopless and helpless, expensive…those medical costs….debt-ridden life for two and a half years until he died at age 54. That is when my adrenal failure kicked me in the arse.
I was damaged goods. So I went to extremes. Sold the house, grabbed the cat and moved to Mexico. I knew of no other way to handle the situation myself. Here, in the Yucatán, I don’t buy processed foods. I don’t use a microwave. All food is made from scratch. The beef is delicious but tough because of lack of chemicalization. I found a house with a pool and I swim and exercise every day. Fresh fruit and juices are a way of life. Living less stressful and for the moment, that is the way of life. Last week we harvested our own fresh sea salt, the research was an eye opener.
There are 9 endos here. I found a good one. But I still suffer some of the symptoms. Unable to calm down, energy at wrong times of day, inability to concentrate. I found I had to live in another culture, speak another language, and try to look at life through a different pair of eyes.
Talk about fight or flight, how about both?
August 28th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Martin,
Thank you for your post. I connected through Mary Shomons site.
I can relate to you. I have Hashimoto Hypothyroid Disease. I also suspect Adrenal Fatigue. I don’t have insurance or the resources to jump start the treatments with a local whole health Doctor. He is, thankfully, helping me along by filling the thyroid scripts he knows I need. I would be a lost in the fog weepy mess if he didn’t. I try to eat healthy, stay active and positive. I will reach my optimum.
YOU keep up the good work! Thank you for sharing your story, I know it blesses the readers!
karen
August 28th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Read to excellent books – ‘Eat to Live’ by Dr. Joel Fuhrman and pick up Arnold Swartzenegger’s Body Building Book for Men (two versions, buy the short version.) You can be a Vegan, you don’t have to eat meat. You just need to be a smart, well-educated vegan. There are plenty of other sources of protein besides soy, beans, legumes, leafy green vegetables are have more protein per calorie than any food. Animals products cause heart disease and cancer. There isn’t any good reason to eat them. Seafood is polluted with gender bending toxins as well mercury. High Fructose Corn Syrup is made using mercury. Processed foods, sugar, HFCS, cause diabetes. I’ve been having the same problems as you – adrenal fatigue – I’ve been hypothyroid for 14 years. Mary Shomon’s About.com website on Thyroid has been a real blessing. I finally found a doctor willing to prescribe T-3, in addition to the T-4 I’ve been taking, and the difference is like night and day. (I only wish I could take dessicated thyroid but no one wants to prescribe that.) I also stopped drinking sodas, cut out sugary foods, and have switched to a vegan diet at home focusing on lots and lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and lots of smoothies. When I eat out I do the best I can, but I’m flexible. Glad you’ve found help.
August 28th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Thank you for the post!
I am a 34-year old male who has been carrying the Hypothyroid moniker for the past 4 years now.
You are NOT the only one.
I have been on Armour now since Thanksgiving, had to fight for it, and now I am finding my comfort zone of 1 grain 5 days per week, and 1/2 grain on wednesdays and sundays.
I was always into bodybuilding, and love lifting weights and running. I worked an extremely stressful job of 5 years and left in March of 2008. I had to leave it behind after I began to get panic attacks and extreme anxiety. I have made an amazing recovery drug free; but still have some work to do. There is absolute truth to what you are saying. The job effected me so much that I was a walking stress and anxiety filled dude!
Not to sound narcissitic, we must learn to “let go” and “let God” handle things. Not easy in a “remote control” and “microwave” society that would rather multi-task than b-r-e-a-t-h-e! We are all works in progress (despite the B.S. the “type-A” personality would have you believe).
I commend you on your efforts, and hope to hear more soon!
August 28th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Are you using Armour? If so what are you doing about supply
August 29th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Hi, I am a 19 year old male who also suffers from hypothyroidism. At the age of 18 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and had 1/2 of my thyroid removed. I also have Hashimotto’s and am on .175 mg of synthroid daily.
I have been feeling tired and exhausted for about 6 months now, and my endo finally ordered some labs, and I found out my ferritin level was 20. I am not set up for iv iron infusion next week. I’m hoping this will help me. I’m a sophmore in college, and I’m sleeping 10-12 hrs per night. I’ll go to class, and need to come back to my dorm and take a nap. I then start to feel sorry for myself, as to why does a 19 year old have to go throuh all this. This should be the time of my life, and I’m so tired and exhausted.
Last year at college (freshman year) I was put on a anti-anxiety medicine just to cope, or I would have dropped out. I was freaking out with feelings of panic, anxiety, extreme fatigue. I felt like no one understood me. I have a great girlfriend that is very understanding, but i’m afraid of loosing her to all my issues.
anyone out there that can help me out?
August 31st, 2009 at 2:43 am
Martin,
Thank-you soooo much for sharing your story. We all are right there with you when you speak. I am hypo and have Hashimotos as well as Celiac disease. Alot of the hypo symptoms I still have. Am also tired in the afternoon to the point if I don’t lay down I will fall asleep right where I am. Weight was never an issue for me before I got really sick. I was a body builder and competing for the Miss Au Natural Contest.
Since then I have gained 50lbs. and the only way it seems it will stay off is if I do Juicing with organic fruits and vegies. Although this is a little expensive, I found this to be the only thing that works for me.
I don’t do processed foods at all ,everything is fresh or as close as I can get to it.
But with out the juicing…the weight just stays there.
Hope this was of some help to you ,as you have been to many of us by sharing your thoughts. Thank-You
God Bless You
Carol
August 31st, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Thank you for your post.
I have had my entire thyroid removed and had the iodine treatment.
Have been on Synthroid raising 25 mgs every 8 weeks.
Am now on 175 mgs and still have the symptoms of Hypo. I am still not at my level of 1.
I am thinking about armour the natural thryoid and have an appointment in October. Has anyone taken Armour or the natural hormone? I am concerned that my heart beats faster on occassion
and it seems like something natural would be better. I know I can not live without the treatment of some kind but does it have to be Synthroid?
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 am
Great Post
Good luck with your journey; yes there is hope and light at the end of the thyroid/adrenal tunnel. Positive thinking with the help of Armour Thyroid have got me my life back; it was one hell of a journey! Yes, try Armour if you have hypothyroidism; it is life to me; it is everything. With Armour I got my life back.
Thank you for writing about this stuff, all the very best to you xx
September 8th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
thank you.